Paradise
by Dictator-Chan
Summary: Alola. A beautiful island chain and a hotspot for tourism. However, it seems there's always trouble in paradise. Two people reign supreme for their energizing of the usually calm Alolan political atmosphere. One a comedically nationalistic and bigoted right-wing populist, another an exclusionary radical feminist libertarian. Truly, they're a pillar of excellence for our children.
1. Chapter 1: Debate Me, You Avocado Whore

892,648

That is how many followers Sienna has on Tweet Twet.

It sounds like a lot, but until the entirety of Alola's population that knows how to use social media follows her, it won't be enough.

She sighs as she traces her manicured finger over the smooth glass covering the surface of the kitchen island. Looking around the epitome of open concept that is her house, she lays her eyes upon a large window facing her backyard.

The window looks rather empty. Maybe adding a curtain can fix it. Or maybe a fern. Those are very nice. Ferns. There are lots of types of ferns as well. Yes, a fern will be a nice addition. There's nothing quite like some spore-spreading greenery to liven up a house.

Finishing her avocado toast, Sienna leans back in her chair and plans out her next message under 280 characters. Grumbling to herself, she regrets planning out her messages before her morning jog. Despite what some people may say, she doesn't just send out sponsored hoots, she actually needs a decent amount of creativity once in a while.

Sighing, she gets up from the chair in her kitchen, phone in hand, and walks across the tile to a sliding door that opens to the backyard. Facing her is a pool that a blue seal wearing sunglasses is floating on. The Alolan Pokémon floats silently as it lounges under the sun's rays, the pool's small waves causing the seal to bob up and down.

Sienna lies stomach down on a lounge chair and watches the Brionne slowly pad itself over to the edge of the pool. It jumps onto the concrete surrounding the pool and hops over to its trainer.

"Hello, Normandy. I'm in a severely uncreative rut and I need something ridiculous to say to trigger the right wing. What do I type?" Sienna says as the Pokémon flops over to her and makes eye contact. It clearly wants tummy touches

"Bri, Bri," it cries as it rolls onto its back and shows how it clearly doesn't care about the predicament its trainer is in.

"Fine, fine. I'll give you some tummy touches," she says as she extends her hand to her Pokémon's chest. A small smile appears on her face as she watches her Pokémon wriggle happily from the tummy touches.

While petting the wriggling Pokémon, Sienna turns on her phone and opens up MyTube to stare at video recommendations. In between all the oddly satisfying compilations is the occasional political video which happens to be what Sienna is looking for.

"Looks like Mr. Len Shapyro is back at it talking about teaching manliness to kids. Ugh. I can't even, what the hell," Sienna says as she pauses the video to look at the recommended section. Most of it is foreign policy. In other words, she doesn't care about it.

As she continues her scrolling, a video title catches her eye.

" _Alice Suzuki DESTROYS PC College Kid"_

 _"_ Well, that's just too good to pass up on," Sienna says with a smile as she selects the ten-minute video and taps a random time in the video to get a quote from the politician.

" _But a hate-monger has as much of a right as I do to be on this stage-"_

 _"_ Mh, too reasonable," she mutters as she scrolls to another random portion.

" _Oh, get over yourself. You're not the center of the universe, you special snowflake. You don't have a right to speech if-"_

 _"_ There we go. Now I feel anger against her," Sienna says with a smirk as she searches "Alice Suzuki" to find her account. There's bound to be something even worse.

Opening the politician's Tweet Twet, Sienna finds the first Tweeter is the perfect one to respond to.

 _"Media: All*These*Women*Are*Running*For*Office_

 _Me: Coolio. What are their policies?_

 _Media: The*Future*Is*Female_

 _Me: I get that, but what do they think about healthcar—_

 _Media: Sistahs Are Doin' It For Themseeelvessss_

Sienna drafts her response as her Brionne waddles over to the water with larger waves from the trade winds blowing through. It's almost serene. The winds flowing through palm and banana trees, the water-type slowly dipping into the pool, it's all calm until you realize an internet war is about to occur.

"There we go," she says with a smirk as she gets up and stretches. "I'm going for a run now. If the house starts to burn down, please put out the fire, Normandy."

"Bri?"

* * *

"You've got to be kidding me," Alice mutters to herself as she watches her challenger drop their Poké Balls while attempting to grab one from their bag that is far too small for an island challenge participant.

Alice hates leaving her house.

The outside has bugs. It has no air conditioning. Worst of all, it has people.

Dealing with people online is easy enough, but for some damn reason, they never read the nice rules she sets up everywhere. Is it that hard to understand she likes to set up her battles in advance so she can have free time?

Apparently.

She just wants to go grocery shopping, you know, like a normal person. Instead, she's being challenged by another idiot child on a godamn sidewalk under a tree in the middle of town.

"I- I'm sorry! Here, uh, this should work! Go, Flutter!" The small child says as she picks up a Poké Ball with a large sticker of an arrow on it. The eleven-year-old tosses the Poké Ball to release a Dartrix before her.

"Dart!" It yelps as the Poké Ball it came from falls on its head.

Smooth. Real smooth.

Passersby stare at the scene of a little girl and a severely unhappy looking middle-aged woman about to start a Pokémon battle. Alice supposes it's a strange sight to see as it's a well-known fact among locals that she likes to organize her battles in the afternoon and evenings on weekdays.

She hates having her battles on weekend mornings. Not only is she grumpy about it being so early, but the concept of working on a weekday is repulsive.

"Please toss it back here, Flutter!" The trainer says desperately as her owl waddles in a semicircle to position itself. It hits the capsule back at its trainer by using its wing as a golf club.

The capsule then proceeds to hit the trainer in the face before falling to the ground and rolling away.

"I almost feel bad. Anyway," Alice whispers as she takes out her own Poke Ball and waits for the trainer to be ready. "Now that you're ready, I'll tell you the basic rules."

"H-huh? Oh, right, yes, r-rules."

"Don't panic, nothing's happening yet. Now then, I'll tell you basic rules you should know already. I still have to tell you them because some kid's parents sued us a few years ago and we like to avoid that happening. Seriously, taking taxpayers money just because your kid lost the island challenge isn't cool."

"...Uh-huh," the kid says while clearly not understanding the legal consequences being explained to her.

"Anyway, this is your... Second challenge, correct?"

"Yes!"

"Alrighty. You're allowed as many Pokémon as you have and I'm allowed one because my Pokémon can't hold back. You can forfeit at any time, but keep in mind you are allowed only three attempts to defeat me and a forfeit will count against you. Unless you have any other questions, we can begin," Alice says as she fingers the button on her Poké Ball.

"No, we can start," the girl says as she nervously twirls a strand of her black hair.

A crowd is forming around the two as curious tourists and hopeful challengers watch the unfolding scene. If it were up to her, this battle would be held in a controlled building for this reason. Alice will not have to fear for the safety of onlookers and she can easily reject trainers not signed up.

Alice sighs. She was originally going to lead with Zara, but it looks the kid won't be worth the strategy. Brute force will be more than effective.

"Alright then. Lily, I'll lead with you," Alice says as she holds down the release button on her Poké Ball. Tossing the capsule never did make sense in her mind.

"Lily?" The girl questions as a bright light begins to materialize into the shape of a Pokémon.

"Yeah, I named her after her favorite flower."

"How cute- Ah!"

"Hydreeeeeiiiigooonnnnnn," Lily menacingly roars as the dragon takes shape.

"Yes, she's very cute. She loves the flower crown filter when I post pictures of her on Snapshit or whatever it's called," Alice says, completely dead serious.

"I, uh..."

"She also loves violets, but those don't taste as good. Anyways, are you ready?" Alice says as she places her hand on her hip and beings to determine the best strategy to not completely destroy the infrastructure of the town.

"Uh, yeah... Flutter, use Razor Leaf!"

Of course, the girl immediately goes for the move that sends lethal leaf knives everywhere.

"Flamethrower. Carefully. Try not to burn down the trees. We don't have to help the invasive species take over," Alice says as her three-headed dragon incinerates the razor-sharp leaves with fire from its two head arms. Listening to its trainer, the Pokémon makes an effort not to burn down the large tree casting shade over the battlefield.

"And please don't cause property damage!" Alice calls out as a truck on the road swerves to avoid the flames flying out of a large dragon's mouth.

"Fly and doge— I mean, dodge the attacks!" The trainer instructs her now panicking yet lazy owl as it flies upward. Lily doesn't care and points her arms to wherever the creature flies, regardless of what might be in the way.

The once passive crowd begins to run away screaming as the flames get dangerously close to them. Only a few idiotic trainers remain, and Alice is half-tempted to have Lily jokingly aim the flamethrower at them.

She doesn't, though. She doesn't need another lawsuit against her.

"Oh, what do I do! Um, fly into the tree!" The girl instructs as her Pokémon loyally obeys.

Alice is confused for a moment until she sees Lily ending her attack. The girl is using Alice's concern for the environment against her. Urg.

The girl almost looks happy with herself until she sees the glare being sent at her by Alice as the brunette says, "Hyper Voice."

"Hyyddrreeiiiggggoooonnnnnn," the brutal dragon screeches towards the tree. Any remaining trainers run away from the grinding noise assaulting their ears that is being used to flush out the Dartrix.

Alice shoves her fingers into her ears and watches to see if the Pokémon falls out of the tree before an epiphany hits her. That tree has a colorful trunk.

"Wait, that's a eucalyptus tree!" Alice screeches over the sound of her Pokémon violently rattling its vocal chords.

"Drei?" Lily questions as she turns around to see her trainer looking miserable.

"Why the hell did I think that move was a good idea. It's a eucalyptus tree! It's an invasive species! Burn the shit out of it!" Alice screeches as if the horrendous assault on her ears is still occurring.

"Drei!" Lily happily says as her inner pyromaniac goes wild at the thought of seeing a plant burn to ashes. Lily throws herself at the tree and begins to burn it in her search for the Dartix.

Is she a little too happy at the idea of incinerating a living thing? Maybe, but the words "questionable morality" are a perfect summary of both Lily and her trainer.

"Flutter, use Ominous Wind!" The girl with black hair calls out as a dark wind begins to mix together with the flamethrower.

Alice is at first confused by the use or such an ineffective move until she remembers the added benefits of Ominous Wind the girl has to be going after. It is a low chance, but when your grass bird is in a tree being burnt to a crisp by an angry dragon, you're rather pressed for options.

If the Dartrix is strengthened by its previous move, Alice might end up here longer than she wants. While she can end the battle in a few seconds, the property damage would be catastrophic, and she didn't want taxpayer money to go towards fixing her mess. It should go towards more useful things like feeding the poor, giving shelter to the homeless, and gratuitously inflating military spending.

"Lily, counterattack with Hyper— actually, no, that's a bad idea. Fly back and let the fire flush out the owl," Alice instructs as her Hydreigon flies backward and watches closely for the escaping bird.

"Flutter, you need to escape!"

Just as it seems like the grass owl is going to let itself burn to a crisp, it dashes out from the top of the tree at its trainer's command. The bird begins a journey upwards as its trainer calls for it to continue its ascent. From the speed the Dartrix is traveling at, Alice gauges it did not gain a boost to its abilities. Good.

"Alright, now use Ominous Wind!"

"Aw, crap," Alice mutters as she realizes the grass owl has gained a height advantage while she's been musing to herself.

The bird builds up a dark wind with its wings and sends it downwards towards the Hydreigon. Lily flies upwards to meet the owl and suffers the attack in the process, but chooses to shrug off the damage and continue upwards.

The Dartrix stays hovering in the air and Alice looks over at the Pokémon's trainer to try to understand what their strategy is. With a quick observation of the girl's face, it becomes clear she has no strategy in mind and is desperately throwing out commands.

"Keep a good distance, but stay close enough if you need to attack!" The girl shouts as Alice watches the once stationary owl begin to fly away.

Ah. So that's how they operate.

"Lily, I'm expecting you to figure out the rest! Climb higher and aim a Hyper Voice towards us!" Alice hollers at her dragon.

Lily turns to stare at her trainer almost cutely as it looks severely confused. Seeing her trainer point at the challenger, she understands the message and begins ascending upwards. She flies above the Dartrix which stares at Lily in confusion until Lily releases an ear-splitting screech downwards towards the owl's trainer.

Is it probably outlawed somewhere for her to be blocking communication between Pokémon and trainer? Probably, but it's the trainer's fault for not teaching her Pokémon to operate independently.

Alice shoves her fingers into her ears once more as she watches the girl trainer attempt to instruct her Pokémon. The Dartrix is left only chasing after Lily who raises her two arms to release Flamethrower from their mouths. The fires hit the owl straight on as it continues to follow Lily as its trainer has stated for her last order.

The loyalty some Pokémon hold for their trainers is disgusting to Alice. When orders go against self-preservation, it is the order of nature to go against a command. However, Pokémon are raised to be unwaveringly obedient to the point that even common sense becomes overridden by the desire to please.

It's disgusting. Truly disgusting.

Dartrix falls towards the ground, its limp body tired from battling not making an effort to break its fall. All of its former strategies are forgotten as it tiredly gives up on the idea of strengthening itself with Ominous Wind. It closes its eyes as it prepares to pass out from its wounds.

"Catch it, please," Alice commands her Hydreigon as it ends its Hyper Voice attack. Lily swoops down and gently catches the owl before it can hit the ground. The "brutal" Pokémon carries its victim to the terrified little girl and lays the owl on the ground.

Lily flies back over to Alice and flops into a sitting position, a dopey look on her face as Alice pets the three-headed dragon. Alice looks at the little girl's disappointed face before she asks, "What's your next Pokémon, sweetheart?"

"I... I don't have another one... Flutter is my only partner," the girl admits as she fumbles with her shirt.

Alice almost feels something as she sees the small child avoid eye contact as they return their Pokémon. Key-word is almost. Alice has to keep up her appearance of being the personification of a sarcastic brick wall if she wants any degree of public respect. It's actually annoying that a single slip of true emotion can be the cause of a smear campaign against her by the media.

"Alright. I recommend your Dartrix to learn to operate without your commands and for you to learn to ignore your nervousness. Anyway, I need to report the severe property damage to the Island Challenge League so we can get this town cleaned up," Alice says as she observes the sidewalk burned from Flamethrower and scratches from lethal leaf knives.

"Yeah..."

Alice quickly walks away from the scene of destruction and avoids the trainers now creeping out from hiding as they attempt to challenge her. She made a mistake in accepting a challenger as that set a precedent for the day when Alice just wants to get her groceries for the week.

Alice quickly ducks into an open shop selling shaved ice and unlocks her phone to send a text to the cleanup team to fix the mess the battle created. The shopkeeper stares at Alice weirdly as she furiously texts the address while glancing at the door to see if any challengers are looking for her.

"...Miss, would you like anything?" The shopkeeper cautiously asks the woman looking like she's hiding from a serial killer.

"Uh, yeah, give me a medium size of guava on one side and Pina Colada on the other with a scoop of ice cream. Oh, add condensed milk too," Alice says without her eyes breaking contact with her phone as the cleanup crew responds that they'll be there in half an hour.

"...Alright," he says as he gets to work shaping the ice into a cup.

Alice sighs as she leans against a stand of snacks and closes her eyes. In an attempt to get her mind off of the eleven-year-olds hunting her down, Alice makes the mistake of opening Tweet Twet. The first thing she sees is everyone messaging her to look at the profile of a stuck-up brat Alice knows. Thanks to the time the entitled avocado toast addict had gone on a spree all over cable news calling for intervention in a territory of Hoenn, Alice knew her quite well.

Knowing that she'll soon regret her actions, Alice stares at the response to her last Tweeter.

" _Oh, look, another deplorable that's trying to hold down women when we're still overcoming being paid 79 cents to the dollar._

Maybe if she spent less time getting her hair done and actually did her job, she would know how the people of Alola operate."

Opening the message function, Alice types a simple message.

" _At:Sienna_Abe Debate me, you avocado whore._ "


	2. Chapter 2: Your Sperm Have X Chromosomes

"Angelica, you could be a professional stalker, you know," a tall blonde man says as he brings a tray covered in foil over to the table Alice is sitting at.

"Ah-hah. How did you guess what I was doing? I was making an attempt to hide looking at my phone for once since I'm at the dinner table," Alice says guiltily as she places her phone face down on the table.

"You always do this sort of thing. You make a stupid decision while you're mad to debate someone far more popular than yourself, and then you research their life story until you can recite it better than they can," he says calmly as he unwraps the foil covering the tray to reveal what looks like toasted bread covered with asparagus, melted cheese, and ham.

"I'd like to say that, excuse you, good sir, I made a very intelligent decision to debate her. Someone needs to put her in her place. She is the literal embodiment of everything I've come to despise," Alice says to defend herself.

"Oh, _really_ now. I'm sure she's quite horrible," he says to taunt her as he walks back over to the connected kitchen to grab plates and utensils.

"She's from money. She grew up with the only thing she had to worry about is whether or not she owns the latest trends," Alice says as she recalls the files she received the day before from a friend she worked with as a public defender.

"Yes, clearly nothing. And I'm sure her immigrant parents from Johto didn't care about her grades at all or make her play three instruments perfectly, right?" the blonde says he places a plate down in front of him and another in front of Alice at the head of the table.

"Her grades were shit, and she played the viola. The viola. Seriously, she a violist," Alice says as she further recalls the information she was sent.

"Oh, yes, the _viola_. How atrocious," he jokes as he places forks and knives out.

"Yes. The viola. Do you know what the difference is between a violist and a prostitute is?" Alice says as she digs up all the viola jokes she memorized in grade school.

"I can't say I do."

"The difference between a prostitute and a violist is that a prostitute at least knows more than two positions."

The man pauses his journey back to the kitchen and allows his ultramarine eyes to show amusement as he replies, "You remember that I played the piano and not a string instrument, right?"

"It has to do with where your fingers are on the fingerboard. It basically determines finger patterns and how high you can play and—. You don't even know what I'm talking about, do you? How about this one? What's the difference between a violist and a prostitute?"

"What?"

"The prostitute has a better sense of rhythm."

"You should be glad Elize is with her grandparents for the weekend. Do you want anything to drink?" He says before going back to the kitchen.

"Literally anything carbonated is fine. And it's not like she'd understand what I'm saying if I were here. She'd just say, 'Daddy, what does Angelica mean? What's a prostitute?'" Alice with a smirk as she places her head on her hand.

"And I'd say Auntie Angelica is talking about an arguably respectable field that could be helped by being legalized, taxed, and regulated, but she'd be only more confused. Tonic or regular sparkling?" he asks as he holds up two bottles of liquid.

"I don't have my glasses on, I'll take the tonic water if it's diet and the regular if it isn't. Yeah, why do you call me Angelica again? I'll never stop asking this question if you haven't noticed."

"I met you as Angelica, and I'm calling you Angelica. I don't care about the rebranding you're trying to do, I'm calling you Angelica. Not to mention, Alice is such a white name. If you wanted to appeal more to locals, Kahea or something would be better. Also, of course, it's diet. I only ever buy this for when you come over," he answers as he opens the bottle slowly to allow the gas to escape. It is the only way prevent the liquid from spilling everywhere.

"Then I'm going to keep calling you Nicholas, you damn white boy. Put your shirt back on, your butt white skin gonna burn!" Alice says as she devolves into a racist Johtoese accent to emulate a story she's been told by Nicholas several times.

"And look at me now. I'm naturally tanner than you," Nicholas says as he pours tonic water into a glass he grabbed from the cabinet while Alice was talking.

"That's because you don't wear sunscreen. By the way, wear sunscreen. That is, unless you like the idea of wrinkles and skin cancer. Just be like me and get a fake tan instead!"

"I'd be scared to have that stuff on my face, thank you very much. I don't trust the Unovan or Alolan FDA nearly as much as I do the Kalosan ANSM," Nicholas says as he places the glass of tonic water in front of Alice and a glass of flat water down for himself.

"Yeah, I don't actually even bother with my face. I just use a darker foundation," Alice says as she reaches for the toast on the tray.

"Well, clearly, I can't do that."

"Why not? I'd totally do your makeup every day if you needed me to," Alice laughs as she sees Nicholas look disgusted at the thought.

"I'm quite alright. I don't need even more people thinking I'm gay—"

"Wait, you mean you aren't gay? There's no way someone so submissive could ever have a Y chromosome!"

"Shut up. You've made that joke enough since Elize was born," he complains as he rubs his eyes and reaches for a piece of toast.

"What joke?"

Nicholas groans.

"Oh, you mean that I wasn't surprised that Elize was a girl because you're such a submissive bitch that all your sperm probably have X chromosomes?"

"Yes. That one," Nicholas mutters, clearly annoyed as he aggressively saws the toast with his knife. "If you can do half as good pissing off Sienna Abe as you can me, you'll be perfectly fine tomorrow."

Alice pauses after taking a bite out of the toast in her hands and closes her eyes while saying, "If I said half the shit I say to you in private in public, my career is ruined. I can barely get away with the fact I called her an avocado whore."

"Pfft," Nicholas uncontrollably laughs as the piece of toast on his fork falls off. "I'm sorry, you called her an avocado whore?"

"Yes. I don't regret it either because half of her Shitchat is just pictures of her eating avocado toast for breakfast."

"Instachat, dear lord. I didn't think you were on there and stalking other people on it. Not to mention, can't she see you looking at her stuff?" Nicholas asks as he grabs a disposable napkin and offers Alice one as well. She declines as she kills the environment enough as is.

"I have an alt account for everything I might need to follow people on. Tweet Twet, Snapgram, and even that platform nobody under thirty is using... I say as a person over thirty. It's LookBook or something."

"Wow, you're more paranoid than I thought you were, and I know you're really paranoid. That Uniting and Strengthening Alola Act proved it to me when you went on a tirade against it last year."

"I think you mean the Uniting and Strengthening Alola by Providing Adequate Tools and Resources to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism Act. As much as I hate the fact the government knows everything I'm doing, I have to say, the staffer who came up with that deserves a raise," Alice says as she makes sure she's saying the words in the correct order.

"Do you just have that memorized?"

"Why yes, I do, actually. This is what I spend my time doing... Ahah," Alice says before taking a large bite of the asparagus toast.

"That and stalking other people by researching every aspect of their life," Nicholas jokes as he cuts another piece.

"Yes, speaking of which, I need more creative things for tomorrow's— wait, shit, did I bring my curling iron?" Alice mutters to herself as she realizes the mistake she made.

"There's one in the back of our bathroom closet. She could never get a curl to stay in, but she never returned it because she knew you always forgot something whenever you came to Melemele for an event," Luis says in a seemingly abstract tone to an unaware person.

"Ah. I'm surprised. I figured she would have returned it to get the money back. Anyway, should I just take the couch tonight?" Alice awkwardly says as the playful mood dies.

"I can get the air mattress out, don't worry about it," Luis mutters.

"Alright. Thank you, then," Alice quietly responds. She's ready for a painfully quiet remaining dinner.

Alice quietly munches on her food as she lets Nicholas be as quiet as he wants. It's a common courtesy, after all. Six months isn't that long. He can't be blamed for his reaction.

"You know what they said when they called? She saved ten other people. That sounds so painfully like her. She always cared about others over herself, and I loved her for her empathy. But... There's a disgustingly large part of me that wishes those people were dead instead of her."

Alice tenses as she realizes the rest of dinner is going to be painful.

"There's a part of me that hates her for what she did. I can't help but wonder to myself every night if she didn't actually love me or Elize. And what's worse is that I can't get the goddamn thought out of my head that I should be glad she's gone if that's the case, and that the past ten years have been a waste of my life. Or maybe she... I'm sorry, you don't want to hear this, do you?" he says as he quietly confesses something to Alice she had never been told until now.

Alice lets out a breath while planning what to say. She begins slowly stating "I'm admittedly... Horrible... At giving emotional support, but I'll listen as long as you need me to. I can't say you should be blamed for feeling this way, and I know you can't help but feel horrible for thoughts you can't get out of your mind—"

"Well, no shit I feel awful! It's not even like you would know what I'm going through! You've been single your whole life, and you'll never have to deal with something like this!"

That hurt. There are very few things that Alice is self-conscious about, but of course, her best friend for the past fourteen years would know it.

"Yes, I would know nothing," Alice says as she allows herself one passive-aggressive response. "But this is my shitty attempt to help you. I don't like seeing you suffer, and I know Elize doesn't either. She talks to me whenever I babysit her, you know. She doesn't fully understand what happened to her mom, but she knows you're acting weird, and no attempt from her to cheer you up is working.

"I don't want to be the crushing voice of reality when she was my friend too, but you're hurting Elize. I'll let you ruin yourself if that's what you want, but I won't let you drag a six-year-old down with you. You need to accept every thought you have. You're only human, and sure, you have thoughts you don't like, but they don't define you.

"What I'm trying to say, in the cruelest way possible, is to get over yourself and her. There's nothing wrong with needing to get out emotions like you just did. You shouldn't be letting things fester in your mind until you can barely function due to thinking about them. Don't let it stop you from having a life. You had an outburst, good, you should get out your feelings once in a while, but you need to accept the fact she's gone, Nick. You—."

"Don't call me Nick. I don't need any more reminders of that vile woman," he interrupts.

Alice can't truly tell what he's doing since he's covering his face with his hands. However, if she has to guess, she thinks he's probably crying.

In an attempt to apologize for calling him Nick, she reaches her hand out to his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. "I'm sorry. I—"

"Don't touch me."

Alice drops her hand back down.

She takes a breath and closes her eyes to try to calm herself.

Alice hears quiet padding from the kitchen, and she looks over to see Noé. The feline creature was likely brought downstairs by his master's stress. The lilac creature locks eyes with Alice and the two have a silent understanding. The fox-like creature pads over to its master and sits down next to him, the red jewel on its head glowing as it attempts to read its owner's mind.

"Thank you for dinner. I won't bother you for the rest of my stay here," Alice quietly says as she gets up and pushes in her chair. She figures Noé can deal with Nicholas, and there's no reason for her to stay and make the situation worse.

Alice grabs her phone and turns it on to call a taxi for herself while she walks to the front door. She laces up her boots she left on the shoe rack and grabs her suitcase.

Alice is halfway through the door before Noé slides in front of her path. The meaning is clear. He thinks she shouldn't leave.

"Noé, he doesn't want me near him. You know him as well as I do! If there's one thing he likes that always cheers him up, it's physical contact. Clearly, I'm useless if I'm even ruining that," Alice says as Noé continues to block her path.

"I'm sorry, Noé. I can't help," Alice quietly says before the Espeon pauses before shuffling back inside.

"Don't worry about me, I'm sorry," Nicholas says as he emerges into Alice's view. "I'm just stressed from work, and Elize's grandparents aren't helping either. It was unfair of me to explode on you."

A look that can only be described as calculating appears on Alice's face as she allows herself to look him in the eye. He certainly was crying at the table, she knows that much. As much she wants to run away to avoid emotional confrontations, the better part of her is forcing her to stay.

Alice slowly closes the door and sighs. "You need to get out more. Make some new friends and hang out with more people, the works."

Nicholas smiles sadly as he says, "You know nobody here wants to talk to a white foreigner."

"Trust me, I know because I'm not helping your case with what I'm doing," Alice says as she releases her grip on her suitcase and goes to untie her shoes.

"Work is always on your mind, huh? Do you need any help preparing for tomorrow?"

"I'll... I won't say be fine because I know I won't be. I just want to finish dinner, maybe mindlessly mess around online a bit, and go to bed," Alice says as she walks back to the kitchen. As she's about to pass Nicholas, Alice stops in front of him.

He looks downward at the much shorter female and smiles as a sort of apology and asks, "Is there a dessert or something you want? I obviously won't have it done tonight, but I can have something for tomorrow."

"Ahah, do you even have to ask? Chocolate cake is the reason I'll get diabetes."

"Yeah, I guess I should have known. Anyway—. Angeline?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you hugging me?"

"No reason," Alice says as she looks up from the chest of the taller man.

"You don't do anything for no reason," he replies in a tone almost suspicious.

Alice readjusts her grip on his back before answering, "You still look like you need it."

Nicholas sighs and slowly hugs back as he says, "Maybe. Although, I'd prefer sitting on the couch instead of standing here for five minutes."

"Oh, so you would've preferred it if I forced you onto the couch against your will. Kinky," Alice says with a mildly sadistic smile as her eyes the color of dark chocolate reflect the same emotion.

"Oh, would I? I see nothing wrong with the occasional manhandle done to me by a strong and sexy woman."

"I don't know what's more laughable, the fact you like being pushed around, or that you just insinuated I'm strong and sexy," Alice responds while she can feel Nicholas shaking his head.

"Have more faith in yourself. She once told me after that debate you had with a radio host that you picking out his inaccuracies and hypocrisy was sexy as all hell," Nicholas says with a laugh.

"That's because you people are weird. I don't know anyone turned on by someone being made a fool."

"I just appreciate how natural you look while doing it. Anyway, you should finish dinner and come up with more arguments against this woman you seem to hate everything about," Nicholas says as he rubs Alices back for a few seconds before releasing himself from her embrace.

"Everything...That's an understatement," Alice grumbles.

"Really? You don't even like avocados?" Nicholas jokes as he begins to walk back to the dining room.

Nicholas stops as he hears complete silence from Alice. He turns around to a severely unhappy look on her face.

"You have no idea how much I fucking hate avocados."

* * *

So, I think now is an appropriate time to bring up what this story is and isn't before I get anyone's hopes up and ruin them.

As someone who has a disgusting interest in government, socioeconomics, and Pokémon, I decided I might as well write about it all for my own entertainment. This isn't going to be an intentional parody of the real world, but rather me filling in the gaps of the more political aspect of world-building. Basically, I'm expanding the Pokémon world for my own amusement and writing what I want because I want to.

This story is also being written because I felt the need to address the lack of... diversity if you will. I don't mean just in characters, but in the plots as well. If you want a journey-fic, this isn't it, but there are amazing options all over this site you can read instead. Don't expect to see a lot of Pokémon battles in here, but I would say that I can confidently call this a Pokéfic because this story could not stand on its own in another universe.

For a basic summarization of what this is, I'd call it a character study where characters represent different sections of the political compass.

But... When I said diversity, I also did mean in the characters.

So, uh...

With the thought in mind that the two main characters are female...

I think you can figure out the rest.


	3. Chapter 3: 79 Cents to the PokéDollar

"Alright, how do I look?" Sienna says as she spins around in front of a mirror in the room she is provided.

"Bri!" her Pokémon happily encourages her trainer from their spot next to her.

"Good," Sienna chuckles as she steps closer to the mirror to check her makeup again. "I only spent two and a half hours working on basic "natural" makeup. Look natural, they say. Girls are prettier without makeup, they say. What if I want to express myself for myself and not to impress the opposite gender?"

"Brionne?"

"Ignore me. Anyway, I'm out in ten, so I better look good. Like hell I have time to fix this anymore," Sienna says as she takes a step back from the mirror and walks over to the couch in the room she is waiting in.

"Bri! Brionne!" the seal cries as it flops over to the plush couch her trainer sits on.

"I am so not really for this," Sienna sighs as she leans back on the black couch. "I did absolutely no research before this. Watch, I bet she'll know my whole life story. Why did I agree to this?"

"Bri," Normandy reminds the woman as she attempts to flop up onto the couch. Unfortunately, her flippers were meant for traveling in water, not carpet and couches.

"Right, because I would have been called a sissy if I didn't. Urg, that woman is awful. Seriously, who the hell call someone an avocado whore? That's really not nice," Sienna complains as she helps up Normandy. "Even if it is true."

"Brionne!"

"Yes, I know I've had a month to prepare, but I was focusing on the other panels I had to contribute to. Urg, why the hell did the people running CiviCon think it was a good idea to make us the main attraction for the last day? I'm honestly so tired after the past two days.

Sienna is in the process of stretching as she hears the door open and a foreign voice say, "Ms. Abe, they want you to come up to the stage. They're starting in five"

"Yeah, I gotcha," Sienna says as she stands up. She takes out Normandy's Poké Ball while saying, "Sorry, buddy, I can't exactly let you just wander around and get lost."

"Bri," Normandy sadly says as the red light from her Poké Ball surrounds and encapsulates her.

Sienna shrinks the Poké Ball and attaches it to the gold chain necklace she's wearing as she walks to the messenger sent to bring her. The messenger looks like a teenager from what Sienna can see. Ah, nothing quite like young people getting involved in the political system!

They quietly walk through hallways surrounded by other people rushing around. The occasional person pauses their running as they recognize Sienna and wave to her. She would smile back as she rushes ahead to keep up with the messenger. This kid can really slow down a bit.

He abruptly pauses and turns to a black door right next to them. He opens it and urges her inside. Sienna follows and walks down a corridor to a flight of stair which the messenger stops at.

In the silence, Sienna can hear someone on the other side of the door speaking. She assumes it's the person introducing the debate as she can distinctly hear them saying, "Well, fellas, we were expecting a thousand people to be in this room. Guess how many are in here? Three thousand people!

Massive applause and cheering erupts from the crowd. Damn. Three thousand people here to watch two people debate. That can either end up wonderful or horrible depending on what happens. Oh, well. If all else fails, she can always start making herself a victim.

"Now, two years ago, when CiviCon first started, we got this person named Sienna Abe to debate Len Shapyro, and we had about three thousand people come to the +convention—."

The crowd erupts in boos as a smile crawls across Sienna's face. Clearly, this would be _fun_.

After Sienna can no longer hear sound from the audience, the announcer continues, "And last year, we got this person named Alice Suzuki and seven thousand people showed up—."

Almost like clockwork, the audience broke out with boos again. Whether it is louder or not this time is something Sienna can't tell, but it's clear that the audience wouldn't be set against her.

"So, we decided that after a brief Tweet Twet spat between the two where one challenged the other to a debate, we may as well facilitate it and bring the two together. They're both quite smart, and they have a bit of a following. Not to mention, we now have eleven thousand people here at Civicon. Our moderater, Hankerson Cooplair, is going to come out now and start us off. Are you ready? Let's go!"

A mixture of cheers and boos erupt from the crowd, and Sienna forces a smile to stay on her face as she waits to be called up. The messenger quietly opens the door to reveal a set of stairs leading up the stage where the microphone is being handed off to a young man Sienna's age.

That person bounds onto the stage and exclaims, "What's up CiviCon! Are you ready for this debate? Alright, without further ado, let's bring out the people you're here for."

Sienna prepares herself for the next hour of pain.

"First, we have our offline celebrity who is the Editor in Chief of her blog the Rational Radical and the Kahuna of Ula' Ula Island, Alice Suzuki!"

The short brunette takes the stage in a mixture of cheers and boos while waving to the crowd. The woman takes a seat in a blue chair behind the moderator and smiles. Ugh, she has to sit next to that woman great.

However, it's only when part of the crowd starts loudly chanting "Defend Alola" that the realization of what Sienna did truly sinks in. She agreed to debate the most prominent nationalist in all of Alola and did absolutely no research.

Oh, well. That could have been handled better.

Too bad.

"And to debate her, we have our online celebrity, the host of *FIND A TITLE LATER YOU IDIOT*, Sienna Abe!"

Sienna walks onto the stage, her heels clacking against the wood as she waves to the crowd. As the crowd devolves into chants and boos, Sienna takes a seat in the other blue chair and crosses her legs.

Her eyes wander over to the woman to her left. As much as she hates to admit it, the woman is pretty attractive for a thirty-something. Even if Sienna hates to admit it, her hair is on fleek.

And that's enough positive thoughts about her.

"I'm looking forward to this. Let's try to stay civil, alright?" that woman says with a smile as she extends a hand to Sienna.

"Likewise," Sienna says as she shakes her hand and makes the mistake of saying, "And your hair is looking just as intricate as always."

Only a slight twitch in the woman's smile makes Sienna realize the mistake she made in commenting on their hair. One might think she would remember one of the few words she has said to the woman is that she spends too much time on her hair, but no. She didn't remember.

"And I'm sure you enjoyed your avocado toast breakfast," the woman passive-aggressively says with a tight smile.

"I actually had chia seed and coconut milk pudding, thank you," Sienna retorts, only to earn a snort of laughter as the woman turns away to face the moderator.

"Now then, we're here to debate politics from every side of the political spectrum with two very different people. In terms of the format, I'll be posing a question to one of our participants and I'll let them go back and forth. After a while, I'll ask a follow-up question or change the topic. Are we ready to go, guys?"

Sienna hears a quiet laugh from the woman next to her as the crowd begins cheering. She allows herself to slightly turn her head to see the woman leaning back in her chair with her legs crossed. If Sienna has to be honest, the woman's confidence scares her quite a bit.

Every other person she's debated in the past few days seemed to be as nervous as Sienna was. This woman, however, seems scarily calm. She just sits there and switches between staring at the moderator and the audience with a small smirk on her face.

No, she just wants to make Sienna nervous, that's what it has to be.

"Let's start with a topic that's current since it's the month of April. I and most people in this room have read the spat you two had on Tweet Twet, and Sienna brought up a pertinence topic. Yes, the first topic is the wage gap."

Oh, thank goodness, it's something easy.

"Now, Alice, you've said that, quote, "The idea that the wage gap is 79 cent to the PokeDollar is bullshit and has been debunked several times. Would you like to elaborate?"

"No," the woman simply says, "What I said is true. That statistic was gotten by getting the median hourly pay income of all women and pitting it against the median hourly pay income of all men. It doesn't take into account experience in the workforce, what kind of job is being worked, or how many hours are worked."

Heh, this will be fun.

"Papa, what is Aunty Angelica doing?"

Nicholas wakes up from his afternoon stupor as his daughter pulls on his sleeve. After realizing he's fallen asleep in a very uncomfortable position at his desk, he stretches before he smiles at the little girl and says, "She's debating politics with someone who doesn't agree with her."

"Why wouldn't anyone agree with Aunty Angelica? She's so smart!" Elize says while Nicholas picks her up.

Nicholas puts her in his lap so she can see the computer screen better as he laughs, "Because she's absolutely insane. You can't understand what she's saying, but—."

"I can understand what she's saying! She's talking about how unfair it is that a few people have over eighty percent of the wealth while everyone else is poor!" Elize interjects.

Nicholas looks at Elize and realizes he needs to tell Angelica to shut up about politics around his daughter.

"That's not what she's talking about here. At least, I don't think so. I muted the video, so let's see," Nicholas mutters.

"I didn't want this to be a religious debate, but if you want to talk about your Jigglypuff in space and how that's the only reason a person can be moral, then you bet it will. Morality is not dependent on a two-thousand-year-old book from the desert—."

"And we're muting that," Nicholas says as he remembers why he never watches Angelica's debates when Elize is home.

"What does she mean by a desert book?" Elize asks, her large blue eyes staring upwards at her father.

"They're having a religious debate, and that's one of the few things we've both agreed to not talk about to each other and you," Nicholas sighs as he closes the live stream tab.

"Why not? She said that no policy is off limits in a debate!" the girl innocently asks as Nicholas casually checks his work email on the weekend.

"Because we spent ten years arguing about it, and we've only made each other worse on the topic," Nicholas says as he notices an email from his boss he received an hour ago. "And your mom and I agreed that we'd let you decide on what you want when you're older. I'm just making an effort to not have her opinions sway you... More than they already have."

"...Okay," Elize says as if she understands she needs to stop asking questions but not anything her dad said.

"We can go eat lunch now, alright?" Nicholas says as he places Elize on the ground and gets up himself.

"Alright!" she says as she runs over out of the guest bedroom that functions as an office.

Out of curiosity, Nicholas reopens the tab with the live stream with audio when he's sure Elize is out of hearing range. It takes only a few seconds for him to realize what is being debated thanks to the look on Angelica's face and the jeers of the audience.

Nicholas sighs and closes the tab again while muttering, "It really is a good thing that I stopped watching."

Alice allows a smile to spread across her face as she leans back in her chair. Despite the mixture of boos and cheering, she calms crosses her legs and observes the crowd. She's playing to her base, and that's all that she needs to know.

"How about no?" the cute and pissed special snowflake says as filler while she's clearly coming up with what else to say.

"How about yes? I'm making a simple argument, and you clearly can't combat it. I'm simply stating a fact that years upon years of oppression have taken place because of the white man. Therefore, it isn't too much of a leap in logic to say that white people are inherently violent and lacking in compassion," Alice says, giggling inwardly at the flabbergasted look on Sienna's face.

"They are no more lacking in compassion than any other race that has acted as a conqueror on another group of people have—"

"Oh, sure. Please, tell me what other race has colonized the planet and subjugated native people to decades of slavery and oppression after having killed most of the native population with diseases?"

"Okay, the diseases were impossible to avoid. The couldn't help the fact that they were carrying them."

Alice takes advantage of the brief pauses to respond, "Of all things to argue, you're picking the idea that they couldn't stop diseases from spreading? Really? Don't you have a better argument against me?"

The girl is unnerved. Unfortunately, that leads to her pausing, and a pause in any debate is fatal.

"No answer?" Alice says with a smirk.

"I... There's not even a point to arguing against something so blatantly prejudiced and incorrect. You're welcome to argue it, but putting up with a racist isn't—"

Alice allows a grin to spread across her face as she responds to a comment she hoped she'd get, "Oh, now you're name-calling me a racist? I'll tell you that it is inherently impossible for me to be racist. I may be prejudiced, yes, but everyone is. Calling me racist is not just insensitive, but incorrect. It is impossible for me to be racist because racism describes a system of disadvantage based on race, however, I stand nothing to gain from such a system."

It's quiet.

One can hear the jeering from the audience, but it's like white noise up on stage. All that exists is herself, her adversary, and the moderator who is likely to step in soon.

Alice is left waiting for a response that Sienna cannot offer. While she's sure that if she'd come on less aggressively Sienna could rebuke her argument, that didn't matter. Alice had tripped her up, and there's no coming back from that.

It's amazing how usually level-headed people can be tripped up so easily by a supposedly insane argument.

"Let's move away from this topic since we only have a few minutes left. I'll pose this question to Alice first. In recent years, the homeless population of Alola has skyrocketed. You've spoken many times about this issue, and what I would like for you to tell us is a clear and concise way to deal with it.

"It's simple," Alice says as she adjusts her posture. "You just give them a place to stay. Studies show that it can be cheaper to give a person a small one-room apartment rather than let them stay on the streets. If you leave them out there, they'll inevitably end up costing money when they get sick or go through the court system."

Sienna remains silent.

Alice and the moderator both look over at her, but she just shrugs. "I can't say I can disagree. I think she's right."

That makes Alice pause. Alice is sure she's researched every single one of this girl's policy positions, and she has never been in favor of that specific policy. She actually came out against it a year ago.

"Alright then. That's a rather calm ending to a passionate debate. I won't appoint a winner between these two, but I think we can agree the real winner here is everyone, especially you guys in the audience—"

Alice stops bothering to pay attention. There's nothing she hates more than that everyone is a winner mentality, and there's no way she's listening to it longer than she has to.

Alice glances over at Sienna to a look she knows quite well. The look on the girl's face is clearly one of humiliation being masked by apathy. That face is one of a person so utterly defeated but unable to allow that to translate to the outside.

It's a look Alice loves seeing.

Seeing another person in a vulnerable state after having their entire core ripped apart by their beliefs being shredded; it produces a state of euphoria.

The moderator closes the debate, but that doesn't matter. He may as well not exist, for all Alice cares about at the moment is herself and the subject of her sadism.

It's only the movement of the cute girl she just utterly destroyed holding out her hand that wakes up Alice. She realizes she's supposed to shake the girl's hand before they can exit, so she does.

The two stand up and exit the stage in opposite directions before Alice finally realizes what she witnessed in that handshake.

The feeling of the cheering of the crowd and the dopamine running through Alice's being fades as guilt begins to set in. She takes a final step of the stairs before she realizes what she consciousness is screaming at her to do.

Turns out crying is a good way to guilt trip someone.

Who would've thought?

Certainly not Alice.


End file.
